Orange is the new Hartman
by sophiawhufc
Summary: Follow 19 year old Amy Hartman as she does her sentence in Litchfield. Vauseman will be cannon.
1. Chapter 1

_This story follows 19 year old Amy Hartman who is sent to Litchfield for mansluaghter, all of the characters from the show are in this fic and Piper never chose Larry she chose Alex so they are together in this fic._

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**Amy Hartman POV**

`Litchfield Prison` that is what it says on the sign that we pass as we drive in this rusty old Prison van. Let me introduce myself my name is Amy Hartman and i am 19, I am serving a 7 year sentence due to mansluaghter. I have a 15 year old little sister named Sarah who has downsyndrome three months ago a bunch of 18 year old boys where harrassing her and one hit her, that the last straw for me as i found the one that hit her and i hit him i hit him 19 times which caused him to die hence why i am in this prison. I got charged with Mansluaghter rather than Murder beacuse i didnt mean to kill him plus we had evidence of his violence towards my sister, the car stops and me and two other girls (both black with evil glares) get out and follow Morello who is an inmate that also works with introducing the new blood to Litchfield.

"We go by our last names here so Hartman you are in this bunk here's a toothbrush and some soap you will get assianged a bunk soon" Morello tells me in her strong Jersey accent, i nod and thank her for her kidness. I enter the room which had an old lady with ginger hair called DiMarco, an old lady that has cancer named Mrs Rossa and a very talkative, very annoying asian women called SoSo.

"Hey kid how old are you?" DiMarco asks me.

"19" i say, they all gasp as they tell me that i am by the youngest in here, the other youngsters are all in there 20's.

"Whats your time" she asks me again.

"7 years depending on good behaviour" i say with a sigh, i still can't belive that i am in this positon i mean who will protect Sarah now.

"Thats alright kid you stick with Morello and her friends then you will be with good people" Mrs Rosa tells me, i nod knowing since Morello has already told me to sit with her and her friends at lunch.

"Just stay on the downlow" DiMarco tells me.

"That's what i'm hoping for" i reply with my goofy grin, maybe things won't be so bad here after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Amy Hartman POV**

"Come on kid it's lunch" DiMarco tells me, i get up from my bunk and i follow her to the cafatiera. I pick up a lunch tray and i join the back of the line, as i wait i scan the room and i look at the inmates. I can see that all of the black people are sat on one table, Hispanics on one table, the old women on another table and so on so forth. I take my lunch from the russian women who judging by what people are calling her her name is Red, as i start to walk from the line i hear my name so i look up to see Morello waving at me.

"Hey Hartman come sit here" she tells me, i nod and i sit down on the empty seat next to her. I look at the people that are looking at me, there is a girl with wild crazy hair a tall girl with black rimmed glasses and a girl with blond hair who has her hand on the taller girls thigh and a bigger girl with short black hair.

"Hey i'm Chapman and this is Vause" she says as she nudges the girl next to her, i smile at them as they smile at me.

"I'm Nichols and this is big boo" the girl with the crazy hair says as she points to the bigger girl, i send them a grin.

"So tell us a bit about yourself" Vause says.

"My name is Amy Hartman and i am 19, i have a little sister who has special needs so i spent most of my time making sure that she was safe and now i screwed that up" i say as i start to think about Sarah, i shake my head to clear my mind of the thoughts of Sarah.

"How long are you in here for" Big Boo asks me, i look at her and i tell them my sentence and the reason why i'm in here. When i finish i can see that they are all looking at me with sympathetic eyes.

"Hey do you like Pussy or Dick" Nichols asks me after a beat of silence, the whole table eurpts in laughter and i can't help myself but join in with the laughter. Maybe i might enjoy my time here.


	3. Chapter 3

_Flashback_

_A 13 year old Amy Hartman is sat in bedroom listening to shouts coming from her parents. _

_"ALL I WANT IS TO FORGET ABOUT THIS FAMILY" her farther shouts, this happens most nights where her parents get wasted drunk and start to scream at each other. The bedroom door creaks open and Amy looks up to see her 9 year old sister Sarah standing there with tears running down her face._

_"Hey come here" Amy says as she opens her arms to let Sarah fall in them, Amy sits down cradaling her sobbing sister to her chest. "I'll never let anything happen to you i promise" Amy says as presses a soothing kiss to the top of Sarah's head as they both try to block out the screams and smashing of broken glass._

**Present day **

"Count time!" urgh it must be 5 in the morning and they are making me get up just so they can click their little clickers, i jump down from my bunk exhusted i havent been able to get much sleep last night beacuse all i can think of is Sarah getting hurt by someone. I see a tall man with a musthache which everyone calls `Pornstache` come in clicking and then he walks over to SoSo and starts to lean in to her.

"Wow i didnt think there would ever be a time where you are not talking" he tells mockinly, he keeps mocking her and i can see the tears build up in her eyes. I can feel myself shake with rage when i see that, yes she may be annoying but she doesnt deserve to be mocked.

"Why dont you leave her alone" i say to the guy, he turns around and walks over to me with a hateful glare on his face he gets up right in my face.

"Looks like you've just made your first enemy here Hartman, you better watch your back" he spits out at me, i stare at him as he walks out and i can hear the breaths that the others were holding being let out.

"You crazy kid, you just upset the main CO" DiMarco tells me, i shrug knowing that there's nothing i can do now. We all get back into our bunks and i am just about to fall back asleep when i can feel someone shake me, i turn over to see a smilling SoSo grinning at me.

"I just wanted to say thanks and that it's great to have a made a new best friend" she says, before i can even respond she has moved and wrapped her arms strongly around my body.

Oh God what have i done!

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**Thanks for all of the reviews and follows. i am going to give you options and you guys tell me which ones you want me to use in this story.**

**1. Sarah visits **

**2. Amy becomes proctive over crazy eyes**

**3. Piper, Alex and Amy become really close**


	4. Chapter 4

_FlashBack_

_A 4 year old Amy Hartman is sat outside the hospital room with her granny in which her parents are in welcoming her little sister into the world. Amy can barley hold her exicment as soon as she was told that she was going to have a baby sister she has been over moon counting down the days to see her little sibling. Her dad walked out of room with a big smile on his face._

_"Do you want to meet your little sister?" he asks Amy, Amy nods her head and follows her daddy into the room where the bundle of joy was being held by her mommy. _

_"Hey baby girl this is your little sister Sarah, now she is a bit speical so we need to give her lots of love ok sweetie" her mommy tells her, she nods not knowing what downsyndrome is but knowing that she needed to give Sarah more love. Amy stands next to her mom and bursts into a huge grin when the baby looks up at her with the cutest gurgle coming out of her mouth, Amy knew that from that moment she will always be the best big sister she can be for Sarah._

**Present Time**

Finally i am getting assigned a bunk today, ever since i stuck up for SoSo 3 days ago she will not leave my side and i am slowly losing my patience with her. I follow the CO who's name tag says Bennet out of the room that ive been staying in since i came here and into the `subiarian` section which is basically the place where white inmates sleep.

"Ok Hartman, this is your bunk for the duration of your sentence" he says as he leaves, i carry my bag into the small qube and i come face to face with Vause.

"Hey Hartman good to have you as a roommate" she tells me in her deep sultry voice, i nod and smile at her.

"Thanks it's nice to be with someone that isnt SoSo" i say. Alex looks at me with a smirk on her face.

"What did you do to make her like you so much?"

"I defended her to Pornstache and know she thinks i am her new best friend" I say, alex laughs and puts down the book that she was reading and she picked up the colour drawing that Sarah gave me to bring in to the prison.

"What's this?" She asks.

"its a drawing Sarah gave me" i say sadly, Alex smiles at it then at me and helps me stick onto my wall.

"She seems like a great kid that life gave a shitty hand to" i nod beacuse it was the truth.

After lunch i am back in my bed with a letter that the CO gave to me, opposite me Alex is holding Piper as they lay next to each other on the bed. I open the letter and i read it to find that my mom is bringing Sarah to visit me on saturday, i can't help the goofy smile that appears on my face after i read this.

"What's that smile for?" Piper asks me from Alexs embrace, i smile as i look at how easy they fit together it makes me long for that.

"Its a letter from my mom she's bringing Sarah to visit on Saturday" i annoucne, Piper and Alex both smile brightly at me and we start to talk about Sarah I can't help but to feel safe and comfortable with Alex and Piper i feel more safe with them than i ever have with any of my parents.

**Saturday**

Today i am awake early to shower and try to make myself as presentable as i can, today i am seeing Sarah and i can't wait to be able to give her a huge hug. I wait on my bed as they annouce that i can go and see my visitor, i get up and i walk into the room where my eyes land on my little sister. Sarah sees me as she runs up and jumps into my arms, she may be 15 but the downsyndrome makes her feel and act like a little kid which makes me love her even more. I wrap my arms strongly around her and i breathe in her calming scent, we sit back down and i can tell that mom doesnt want to be here but has come so i can see my sister.

"Hey S, it's so good to see you" I say cheerily, Sarah grins and grabs my free hand normally contact with each other is not allowed but since Sarah is speical needs they have removed that rule for me and her.

"I got an A in my spelling test yesterday" Sarah tells me, i beam at her i know that she gets picked on at school for her downsyndrome and people think that beaucse she is different then she is dumb but actully she is very smart and i couldnt be more prouder.

"Thats awsome kiddo i never got an A i'm so proud of you" i tell her, i can see the way her eyes light up when i say that to her.

"I made you a picture" she says as she hands me the piece of paper, i take into my hands and i look at the picture that she has drawn it's a picture of her holding my hand as we look up at the sun.

"Thanks kiddo it means a lot to me" i tell her getting a bit chocked up, we spend a while talking about her school and how she is he top of her classes in Math and English.

"Times up vists over" the CO bellows, i stand up and i bring Sarah into a hug.

"Keep up the good work, i love you kiddo" i say as i kiss her forhead, i watch as my mom stands up and walks out not even making eye contact with me. I walk back into my bunk with a huge smile on my face, Alex looks up at me and gives a look that asks `everything went well` i nod and i sit down on my bed. I close my eyes with a smile on my face now knowing that Sarah is safe and unharmed i slowly fall into a peaceful slumber.

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**This chapter is up, who do you want Amy to get into a relationship with Lorna or Nichols.**


	5. NU

**hey everybody this is not an upload sorry. I want Amy to either get some bad news or something bad happens to her so I can really show her vulnerable side to you, so I want you all to tell me what should happen to Amy so I can get the next chapter up .**


	6. Chapter 5

_FlashBack_

_A 11 year old Amy is walking in the park with her 7 year old sister by her side, things have been getting hard at home since their mom lost her job 2 months ago. Amy walks over to the swings and she helps Sarah onto one of them and she gently pushes her on the swing. They are having so much fun on the swings before a 12 year old boy walks over to them and starts to make fun of Sarah._

_"Get off the swing werdio it's only for normal people" the boy sneers and tries to push Sarah off, Amy stands between the boy and her sister so he cannot hurt Sarah._

_"Leave her alone she's not doing anything wrong" Amy tells the boy, she can feel anger rise up in her body as the boy sends the dirtiest of looks to Sarah._

_"She is annoying me so i want her to move her retarded ass out of the swing" the boy is cut off by Amy's fist coming into contact with his face, Amy hits him and grabs his collar to make him look at her._

_"You listen to me Sarah is not a retard and she will not be going anywhere so if i was you i would run away and play somewhere else" Amy sneers into the boys face, Amy drops the boy and he jumps up and runs away. That was the first time that Amy became voilent._

**Pressent Day**

It's been 3 weeks since Sarah visisted and i am still on a high, i got assianged to work with Alex in the laundary room which was cool beacuse its not hard labour. I have gotten even closer to Alex and Piper they always look out for me which i am forever greatful for, today my councilor Mr Healy wants to see me and thats where i am heading now. I knock and enter the room and i sit down infront of him, when he looks up at me i can tell that whatever he wants is not going to be good.

"Hartman i have some bad news" he tells me, him and i have never seen eye to eye since i am gay and he hates lesbians but he seems to have forgotten that to tell me this news.

"What is it?" i ask fearing for the worst.

"Your sister Sarah was being dropped off at school by your grandmother when a car collided with theirs your grandmother is fine but sadly the impact was on Sarah's side" he tells me with sadness lacing his voice.

"What does that mean is she ok?" i ask with fear lacing my words, he looks at me and at that moment i know the answer by looking into his eyes.

"Im sorry but she died on impact" the rest of his words fade out as my mind replays the words that he has just told me. My sister, the only person that i was ever sure i loved is gone and i will never be able to see her or hold again, i jump up out of the seat and i storm out of the room ignoring Healys voice. I lean up against the wall trying to not cry knowing that shows weekness here, i can feel anger well up in my body as i imagen a broken Sarah crying for help dying in pain.

"Hey Hartman you look really good today i thought if you want to lunch then i will sit with you i miss being around you" Soso says to me, she keeps rambaling on and after the 4th sentence i snap. I throw Soso up against the wall and i hold her by the neck, i am 6ft 3 so i am a lot stronger than Soso.

"Shut up and leave me alone or so help me god i will hit you so hard you won't be able to talk for a month" i spit out in a harsh whisper, i can see SoSo start to cry so i realse her and i turn and walk into my bunk. I look at all of the pictures that Sarah sent me and all of the photos i have of her and i snap, i go crazy i throw all of my stuff on the floor and i rip up some of the drawings and photos before i can do anymore damange i feel a par of strong arms go around my wiast.

"Hartman stop it's ok Healy told me just stop" Alex says into my ear, i stop fighting and i slump down onto my knees and start to sob hartbreaking sobs Alex sits down next to me and wraps me up in her arms.I cry into her chest as she calmly rocks me back and forth.

"I want Sarah" i keep sobing out, alex just keeps me in her arms.

"I know and i'm so sorry" she says to me, her voice cracks a little and i wonder if she has ever lost a loved one. I stay crying in her arms as i recount the worst day of my life.

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**There it is the first time you see Amy's vunrable side, i made Alex be the one that she breaks down to beacuse Alex is Amy's maternal character. Thanks for reading and for reviews, keep up the reviews as it really helps me with writting the chapters.**


	7. Chapter 6

It's been 2 weeks since Sarah died, I keep to myself now I don't really talk to Alex or Piper and I have managed to get Soso off my back. I've been having nightmares where I am watching the accident and hearing Sarah cry for help but I can't get to her and I always wake up when Sarah dies, I turn over in my bed and I look at the drawings and photos that I didn't destroy I can't help but smile when I see them since it makes me feel that she is still alive.

"Hartman you have a letter" Bennett says as he hands me the letter, I screw up my face because since Sarah is dead nobody writes to me anymore. I open the letter and I notice that it's from my grandmother, she is telling me that she will visit me on Saturday. I can't help but dread it since I know that she will talk about Sarah and I just can't handle that right now. Alex looks up from her book and looks at me with a questionable stare, I may not talk to her often but she knows that Sarah only ever gave me mail.

"It's from my grandmother she's coming to see me tommorow" I tell her, before she can respond I roll over onto my side making it clear to Alex that the conversation is over.

"I know that it's hard and I know that all you want to do is roll over and die but you can't so just pull yourself together and live your life the way Sarah would've wanted" Alex tells me, before I can do anything she stands up and walks out the cube I would imagen to find Piper. I think about what Alex told me and although I know that she is right I just can't seem to bring myself to get back up, I stand up and walk out and into the rec room and I sit down in the chair next to Nicky she stops watching TV and turns to me.

"we'll look who it is" she says playfully, I smile and gently push her shoulder playfully Nicky always manages to make me laugh when I need it most.

"Yeah well I'm tired of staring at the same wall so I thought I should go out side of my cube" I say, I can hear my once cheery voice turn into a monotone tune.

" You never did answer my question" she asks me.

"what question?" I ask confused I don't remember being asked a question.

" If you like dick or pussy?" She asks me with a smirk, I roll my eyes knowing where this will end up.

" I am one hundred percent gay" I tell her while smiling, she grins and places her hand on my leg.

"how long has it been since you've just forgot everything" she whispers into my ear suductivly, I lean in and just before I kiss her Sarah flashes through my mind and I quickly pull back. I jump up and everyone turns around to look at me weirdly.

"I'm sorry I can't" and that's all I can say to nicky before I run out of the rec room and into the bathroom, I run my hands under the tap and I splash it onto my face trying to rid the images of a crying Sarah. I look up at my reflection and all I can see flashbacks of Sarah when she was younger and all the times she came crying to me when she was bullied, I scream as I have had enough and I punch the mirror which shatters causing my hand to bleed. I slide down the side of the sinks cradling my hands hearing Sarah's voice on repeat in my mind.


	8. Chapter 7

Today is the day that I have been dreading, today is Saturday which means it's the day that my grandmother will be visiting me. I slowly get up and I make my way into the shower being careful not get my wrapped hand wet, I let the lukewarm water flow over my body as I am hit with flashbacks of Sarah I shake my head to clear those memories and I get out and get dressed. I walk back into my cube and I can see that Alex is now awake and is reading a book, when I enter she lowers the book and looks at me.

"you ready to see her?" Alex asks me, I turn to look at her and I know that she can see the fear in my eyes.

"no but if I don't do this then I won't get the closure I need" she nods understandably, when Sarah died Alex told me that her mother died and we have kind of bonded over that. The voice over the tanoy brings me back to the present and I make my way to the visitation room, as I walk in I see Piper sat down at a table with what I assume to be her mother. I walk further into the room and I see that at the table next to piper sits my grandmother, I can see that she has bruises and several stiches from the accident but apart from that you wouldn't think she was involved in one. I walk up to the table and I can see that she has stood up, I look and I can see that piper is looking at me but trying to listen to her mother at the same time.

"hey Kiddo" she says, once she says that, which was my nickname for Sarah, I break down and sob into her arms. I can tell that piper is trying to give me some privacy but she can't seem to take her eyes off of me, once I collect my self we sit down and I can see that piper has gone back to talk to her mother.

"I am so sorry Amy but it all happened so quickly" she rambles on, I nod and I take her fragile hand.

"I know and I don't blame you grandma it's just hard to get my head around it" I tell her, she nods understandingly and grips my hand tightly.

" All she spoke about was how she was looking forward to visiting you again she was so excited" I smile through my tears, it warms my heart that she was thinking about me.

" I still have all of her drawings up on my wall I can't seem to take them down" I say, I can hear piper stand up to walk back into the main prison but before she does she grips my shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

"don't take them down, you need to do what you have to do to survive in here" she tells me, I smile back at her.

"I really miss you gran" I tell her whilst I look into her eyes.

"I miss you too kiddo" I give her a tearful smile.

we talk for a few more minutes before the guard tells us that visits are over, I give gran a huge hug and I make my way back into the main prison.

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**that was a filler chapter I wanted to show the relationship between Amy and her grandmother. What do think should happen next.**

**1. Amy lashes out at an inmate and I sent to SHU **

**2. Amy and nicky get close and become really close friends **

**3. Something happens to alex which means Amy comforts piper**


	9. Chapter 8

It has been 5 weeks since Sarah died and i am slowly getting myself back together, i reliased that Sarah wouldnt want me to be depressed everyday she hated it when i was sad. I walked into the rec room and sat down in the seat next to Nicky, i haven't been alone with her since i ran out all those weeks ago. She turns her attention to me and smirks.

"Your not going to run out on me again are you?" she asks me sarcasatcaly, i roll my eyes at her but i do allow myeslf to smile.

" I'm sorry about that i was going a little crazy" i say, i can see her smile but not a smirk a real smile.

" Yeah this place will do that to you, don't worry about it you just lost your little sister you weren't yourself" she tells me, i cant stop myself from leaning forward to press my lips against hers. She seems suprised at first but hurridly responds but giving me a hungry kiss, we stand up still kissing and we walk to the chapel thankfully not running into any gaurds on the way. We walk up behind the stage and continue to kiss eachother, her hands go down to my trousers and pulls them down leaving me in my underware. I take her top off and the next 45 minutes we have the most amazing sex, 45 minutes later and 3 orgasms later i am layed down on the floor with Nicky laying next to me with her head on my chest.

"That was amazing" she huffs out, i smile and i run my fingers through her thick curly hair.

"I know the best i've ever had" i reply, she smiles up at me and presses a gentle kiss to my lips. We lay cuddled up next to each other for a few minutes before we get redressed.

" We better get back to our dorms before count starts" i nod and just as she was walking out of the chapel i turn her around and press a kiss onto her lips, we wink at each other as we make our way to our bunks. I walk into mine to find no Alex but a crying Piper curled up on Alex's bed.

"what's wrong?" i ask her as i walk into the bunk, she looks up at me and runs and hugs me tightly. I am shocked at this beacuse the only person i have ever seen Piper make physcal contact with is Alex, after a few seconds of shock i wrap my arms around her body and i gently rock her to make her stop crying.

"Alex was attacked in the shower, she was attacked with a razor her wounds aren't that bad but she has been sent to hospital" she cries out, i tighten my hold on her body rage curses through my veins. Somone has hurt one of the only people i look to as family, i turn my attention back to Piper when i start to feel my shirt wetten under her tears.

"She's going to be ok, she's tough she will get through this" i say, Piper stops crying and lifts her head off of my chest to look at me.

"I don't want to be alone right now will you stay with me?" she asks, i nod and i lay down on Alex's bed with Piper curled up into my body.

"Do you know who did this to her?" i ask, Piper nods and tells me that Dogget did it. I nod and as i hold Piper close to my body i can't help but start to plot my revenge on the person that has caused pain to my family.

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**Sorry for the delay i had a personal issue i had to deal with. What do you want to happen?**

1. Alex returns and is really traumatised so Piper and Amy help her through it.

**2. Amy corners Dogget and attacks her.**

**3. Amy admits to Piper and Alex what she did that landed her in jail.**


	10. Chapter 9

It's been two days since Alex got attacked and today is the day that she is coming back from Hospital, Piper got permison to miss today's work so she can be with Alex and settle her back in. It has also been two days since i have started to plan my revange on Dogget, i have kept it a secret from Nicky and Piper beacuse they both disaprove of my violent payback. I work in laundry witch is where Dogget also works so all i have to do is to get her alone so i can have my fun with her, thats where i am at now i am currently folding some bed sheets when Dogget comes waltzing in like she owns the place.

"That lesbian is coming back today, i obviously didn't do enough damage" she spits out, i look around the room to see a number of her friends nod along with her. I tighten the sheets in my hands as i try to restrain myself from launching myself at her and beating the crap out of here, after 5 minutes of her spitting out all of the things she is going to do with Piper and Alex i lose it.

"jUST SHUT UP!" I shout out as i throw the sheet down on the table, Dogget turns to me and walks forward into my personal space. I can feel myself shaking with rage and it takes huge restraint to not hurt her.

"Well if it isn't Hartman, you've been awfully quite since you arrived here" she says, i don't look at her as she talks so she speaks louder thinking that will get me to react when i don't she resorts to my sister.

"Your little sister died didn't she, she was one of those retards was'nt she" when she calls Sarah a retard I look up and stare into her hate filled eyes. "she was always going to die you know? that's the way god works he takes away all of the filth and scum of this earth"before she can continue i grab her and i throw her up against the washing dryer, i punch her in the stomach and face before i grab ahold of her face and making her face me.

"You shut your mouth, if your right about god then you woud've been dead a long time ago. Now i can't protect Sarah but i can protect my other family and that is Chapman and Vause, you will not hurt either one of them and if i find out you have i swear to god i will put you in the ground where you belong" once i finish my rant I hit her one last time in the side and i drop her to the floor, i can see fear in Dogget's friends eyes as i walk off. I look at the time on the wall and smile when i see the time its the end of work, i walk to my bunk and I stop at the entrance of it as i see Piper holding a bruised and battered Alex. Piper looks up and catches my eye, she smiles and motions for me to enter as i walk into the bunk Alex looks up and i can see a smile form on her battered face.

"Hey i missed you Hartman" she says in her horse voice, I wince at her voice not wanting to know what has caused her to lose her voice. I walk over to her bed and i sit down next to the two of them.

"I missed you too Vause" i say, my voice clearly showing my emotions beacuse both Alex and Piper cuddle up to me. I am 6ft 3 so i am used to people cuddling into me beacuse they feel safe but knowing that the two people i care the most about find saftey in being around me makes me so happy.

"I was such a mess when you were gone but Amy kept me together" Piper tells Alex, Alex turns to me and smiles gratfully at me.

"Thank you Amy it's good to know that we are in good hands" she tells me, i nod and i send them both my best smile i can muster.

"It's the least i can do you guys helped me so much with Sarah and your like my family so of course i have your backs" i tell them, they both smile and i am pulled in a group hug.

"Hey Amy you never told us what you did to get yourself in here" Piper says, I nod and i prepare myself to tell them my story.

"My parents were very abusive towards me every angry thought they had they would use to abuse me, i took it beacause i knew that they wouldn't touch Sarah if they had me. I took the abuse every day and night but i never complained i just bottled up all of my feelings witch often resulted in me getting into violent encounters with people at school, anyway Sarah was getting bulied at school beacuse she had downsyndrome it killed me when i would get home from school to find Sarah in tears and i could do nothing about it. One day she was walking home from school when a group of boys started to Harash her and one of them held her down and beat her up, she walked into my bedroom covered in cuts and bruises and i lost it i knew who the boys where and i went to them and found the boy that beat Sarah up and i lost it. I let all of my feelings i have bottled up over the years out and i beat him to death, i could here him scream and cry for help and mercy but i didnt stop. I will never get his cries out of my head they will haunt me untill the day that i die." when i finish i am crying and i can hear Piper sniffle, Alex opens her arms and holds me just like she did when Sarah died.

**Middle of the night**

"NO leave me alone"

I am awoken by the sounds of whimpering and crying, i look over to Alex's bed and i can see her body thrashing around in bed crying obviously in the middle of a nightmare. I walk over to her bed and i shake her shoulders gently.

"Alex wake up" i keep saying to her, she kept screaming and whimpering things like `don't hurt me.

"Alex it's me Amy wake up" after about 5 minutes of me shaking her she jumps up opens her eyes.

"Leave me alone don't hurt me please" she shouts, I am hartbroken to hear how broken Alex sounds when she says those words.

"It's me Amy i'm not going to hurt you it was a nightmare" i reasure her, she looks at me and breaks down. I wrap my arms around her tall lanky body and i hold her as she cries into my shirt, after 10 minutes of crying she finaly stops and looks back up at me.

"I'm terrifed that Dogget is going to hurt me when i'm not looking" her voice breaks " I'm terrfied that she will hurt Pipes" i shush her and i coax her to lay back down on the bed.

"She won't hurt you or Piper ok, i promise i won't let anything happen to either of you" i tell her, i am reminded of the time i said those words to Sarah but this time i will stick to my promise. She nods and i make a move to get up from the bed when i feel Alex grab hold of my hand.

"Can you stay with me in here tonight i'm terrified" she says, i nod and i get into the bed with her. She turns around and curls up into my body and within a few minutes i can hear the soft snores coming from Alex, i lay awake holding her tight and making a plan so i am able to succeed on my promise. I will protect Piper and Alex from Dogget even if it's the last thing i do.


	11. Chapter 10

**The next morning**

I wake up just after the sun rise and I look down at the sleeping form in my arms, the previous night's events replayed through my mind and anger returns to my body. I am drawn out of my thoughts by Alex stirring awake, I look down and I am greeted by an awake Alex Vause looking up at me.

"Thanks for staying with me last night" she tells me, i can tell that she is embarrassed but i just shake my head and smile down at her.

"It's fine you would do the same for me so don't worry about it" I tell her, she sends me a grateful smile and she removes herself from my body. I stand up and walk over to my bed to pick up my shower supplies, I walk down to my dorms bathroom and I get into the shower. I let the water cascade down my body as I think about everything that has happened since I have been in here, I think back to the day Sarah visited me and how happy I was and then I think back to the day I was told that she was dead and how I just wanted to become invisible and die. I think about Nicky, I think about the kiss and the mind-blowing sex and then I think about Alex and Piper and how they became my second family. I get out of the shower and I dress in the khaki prison wear just as I was about to brush my teeth Nicky comes walking in and saunters over to me smiling at me.

"Hey I didn't see you yesterday" she tells me, I turn around to her and I send her a smirk.

"What did you miss me?" I tease her; she rolls her eyes but smiles at me. I walk over to her and I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her into me, I press a kiss onto her lips and she replies with a kiss.

"So what if I did, you tickle me kid" she says, I smile and shake my head as I release her body and I return to the sink.

"I was occupied with Alex and Piper" she looks at me and nods, she is also close to them but since I arrived she seemed to have moved on to me. I look up at her and I can tell that she wants to tell me something.

"I know you threatened Doggett, look she's a psycho ok and I don't want you to get hurt" she says, her tone is laced with concern witch I can't help but smile at. I walk back over to her body and I make her look at me.

"I need to do something, not only did she hurt someone that I look to as family but she also bad mouthed Sarah and I can't let that go" I tell her, my eyes pleading with her to understand. She nods at me accepting what I told her, she looks at me and I can tell that she is worried.

"You are the only girl I have felt these feelings for before, I always used to use girls for fun but you are different and I can't watch you get hurt" she whispers to me, I nod at her understandably because I feel the same things.

"I know and I feel the same way about you, if I get rid of her then we will all be safe ok" I tell her, she nods and pull me into a tight hug. I hold onto her and I breathe in her scent, I press a kiss to her temple and we spend a few minutes just holding each other. After about 4 minutes both Piper and Alex walk in hand in hand and stares at us.

"Are you guys together?" Piper asks confused, I look at Nicky and we both smile at each other and nod to Piper. She breaks out in a huge grin and comes over to me to wrap me up in a hug. "Alex told me what happened last night, thank you for looking after her" we separate and I send her smile and I tell her that's it's all fine, I look to Alex and I can tell that she is petrified of being back in the place where the attack happened. Within minutes Doggett arrives and everything goes deathly quiet, she has bruises on her face from where I hit her yesterday everyone looks at her as she looks at me and walks over to where I am stood.

"You did this to me and because my friends are afraid of you they won't stick up for me to the CO's so I am going to have to take you down myself" she shouts into the bathroom, everyone turns to look at me when they work out that it was me who attacked Doggett. "You really think your retard of a sister would be proud of you she would be disgusted by you" she spits in my face, I can feel Nicky place a calming hand on the small of my back as I start to shake with anger. Doggett looks over to Alex and pulls out a toothbrush razor and she mocks her with it, Alex looks petrified and that's when I lose it. I rush over to Doggett and I push her on to the floor, she turns over and shakes the razor at me witch causes it to catch my hand. She smirks and walks out of the bathroom when other people start to enter the bathroom, once she leaves Nicky, Piper and Alex moves over to me and starts to inspect the gash on my hand. Nicky runs my hand under the tap and uses a few maxi pads as a bandage, when she finished I smiled gratefully at her but she shakes her head at me fury clouding her eyes.

"You promised me that you wouldn't get hurt and look at that you got cut by here and that's in the daylight" she screams at me, I look down ashamed at myself for allowing myself to break another promise to a loved one. She storms out of the bathroom leaving me with Alex and Piper, they both look at me with sympathy and Alex looks a bit angry too.

"I don't want you to go after her again can you promise me that?" Alex asks me, I look in her eyes and I can see the worry and anger swirling around in them. I brace myself for what I am about to do, I look at them and I nod feeling sick with myself.

"I promise" I say to them, they both nod and walk out leaving me alone to think about what I just said. I just made another promise that I was going to break and I was going to break in a big way.

* * *

**I am having a bit of trouble of what to do next so what do you guys want to happen?**

**i have a few ideas and although i don't want to cause trouble to Vauseman i am thinking of Alex and Amy getting it on and then regretting it. tell me what you think.**


	12. Chapter 11

**The next day**

I walk over to the cube in which Nicky uses and walk in to find Nicky fast asleep on her bed, I move over to her bed and I smile as I watch her sleep she looks so calm in her sleep and makes me fall for her even more. As if sensing someone's presence opens her eyes and smirks at me.

"You know it's creepy to watch someone sleep" she tells me, I roll my eyes and sit down next to her on the bed.

"I know I just can't help myself around you" I tell her, she smiles a small smile and sits up.

"I'm still mad at you" she says, I look down knowing that I was still in trouble. I take her hand and I look at her.

"I know and I am so sorry that it happened but she was terrorising Alex I couldn't stop myself" I tell her, she smiles and leans her head on my shoulder. I press a kiss to the top of her head and I wrap my arm around her shoulder pulling her body in.

"I know that you're sorry but it killed me to see you get hurt can you try to stay out of trouble for me?" she asks, I look down at her and send her a loving smile.

"Anything for you" I whisper into her ear, she looks up at me and presses a kiss to my lips. I love the feel of her lips on mine and I love the way our tongues battle for dominance of the others mouths, we break apart from each other when Nicky's roommate walks in and lies on her bed. Nicky lies down on her bed and I lay down behind her being her big spoon, I love the way our bodies fit perfectly together. I press a kiss to her neck and I hear her hum out in appreciation, we stay here holding each other for at least 30 minutes when I see Doggett leave her group of friends and walk towards the bathroom. Now is my time to get my revenge, I can tell by the soft snores coming from Nicky that she is asleep so I gently untangle myself from her and I slowly make my way to the bathroom. I look into the room to see it empty except Doggett who is washing her hands, I shut the door behind me and I enter the room when I enter Doggett looks up at me and glare at me.

"It's just you and me now and I am going to have my fun" I tell her, before she can respond I charge at her and I push her on the floor and punch her repeatedly in the face drawing blood. She kicks me in the stomach which makes me lose my balance and now she is on top of me hitting me and scratching at my face, I try to free my arms to hit her but she pulls out her razor toothbrush and puts it out in front of her.

"You are screwed I have this and I am going to kill you" she spits out, she wildly thrashes the blade around catching me on the arms and face but before she can stab me in the throat I head-butt her and get on top of her.

"Not before I kill you first" I say into her ear, I start to hammer down blows to her face and body. She was trying to desperately get away from my grasp but I am just to strong and I keep raining punches down on her, after a few minutes I hear load murmurs coming from outside and before I know it a CO has a hold of me and is dragging me away from Doggett and out into the corridor. My face and body is littered with brushes and my face and arms have a lot of gashes on them, the CO shouts out that I am going to the SHU and as I am being dragged down the corridor I pass the three people I didn't want to see. Standing at the end of the wall staring at me is Piper, Alex and Nicky all looking pissed but also scared as I look away my eye catches Nicky's and I can see the fear and disappointment in them. As I walk down to the SHU all I can think about is how I broke the one promise I had to the girl that I love.

* * *

**There it is Amy is going to the SHU, i thought long and hard about having amy and alex hook up but i thought that the feelings amy has for nicky will stop her from doing anything with anybody. **

**Pick what you want to happen**

**1. Amy gets back out of SHU but Nicky wont go near her**

**2. Red talks to Amy and informs her on Nicky's feeling and why she can't trust eaisly**

**3. Amy moves bunk and is moved to Nicky's**

**4. Alex has a heart to heart with Amy**


	13. Notice

**this is not a chapter but I just wanted say a huge thank you to all of you that follow this story and send me reviews, it really does help and makes me happy to see what you like about the story. Thank you :)**


	14. Chapter 12

It has been 3 days since I attacked Doggett and it has been 3 days since I was thrown into the SHU, it is hell in here the food has mould on it the water has bits of stuff floating around in it and the cell is so tiny I feel like I am being eaten alive by my cell. It is eerily quite in here so I have been spending the last 3 days thinking about everything that has happened in my life and it comes down to one thing and that is failing people, I failed in getting my parents to love me, I failed in protecting Sarah and I also failed my two friends and girlfriend. The looks on their faces are burned into my mind, the looks of disappointment and the look of fear in Nicky's eyes is what's keeping me up at night. I promised Nicky that I wouldn't get hurt or in trouble and I broke both of them, I love Nicky is what I have found out. I love the way she makes me laugh, I love the way she keeps me grounded and most of all I love the way she trusts me and now I have thrown it all away by being an idiot. I hear footsteps approaching my door and I stand up when the door is unlocked and a CO comes marching in.

"Hartman you're coming back now follow me" he says in his demanding tone, I follow him out of the tiny cell and up into the truck he is driving. As we are driving my mind drifts to what Nicky will say to me when I get back, I am pulled out of my thoughts by the CO grabbing my arm and walking me into the prison. I walk down to Caputo's office when I see Nicky; she looks at me with a hardened glare and walks the opposite way. I sigh as I watch her walk away and I enter the office and sit down opposite the guy.

"Hartman you are coming back to the normal routine, tonight you will be moved bunks so I want you to go and pack up your stuff" I get up and walk out the room, I am moving bunks which means I won't be with Alex. As I walk to my cube I spot Nicky sat down in her bed, I walk over to her bunk and she looks up at me.

"Hey I missed you" I tell her with a loving tone, she ignores me and turns back to the book she was reading. I sigh knowing that she won't respond and I make my way to my bunk, as I walk in I see Piper and Alex sat down cuddling in bed. When I walk in they break apart and stare at me, Piper stands up and I brace myself for a hit that I feel is coming. I don't feel a hit but instead her arms wrap around my waist as she hugs me, I wrap my arms around her body and I hold her to me. After a few seconds we break apart and I look at Alex and Piper.

"We were worried about you the SHU can make you go crazy" Piper says, I nod and I notice that Alex is very quiet. She puts down her book and walks over to me.

"Nicky was a mess, good luck with that" she says, I think that she will walk off but instead she gives me a small hug. I move over to my bunk and i pack up my belongings, Alex looks at me with a questioning gaze.

"I'm being moved, it's mandatory when you come back from the SHU" I say, she nods but looks a bit sad. A CO comes walking in and watches me pack everything up.

"Follow me Hartman time for your new bunk" he says, I follow him down the dorm and we come to stop outside the last cube in the room. "Here you go your new bunk" he tells me before stalking off, I enter the cube and I dump my belongings on the bed. I don't pay attention to anything in the bunk but when I hear someone clear their throat I turn around to be met with the eyes of Nicky Nichols.

Holy Crap I'm Nicky's Bunkie.


	15. Chapter 13

"Hey, looks like we're bunkies" I tell her, Nicky doesn't say anything she just stands up walks over to my side of the bunk and picked up a book. I sigh when Nicky walks past me and sits down on her bunk; I stand watching Nicky ignoring my presence and open her book. After about 5 minutes of Nicky ignoring me I walk over to her and I rip the book out of her hands and I throw the book across the room.

"What the hell is your problem" she shouts at me, she stands up and walks in front of me.

"What's wrong with me is that my girlfriend is not even looking at me" I shout back at her, she looks into my eyes and I can see the fury in them. Our shouting has got the attention of everyone and now a lot of people are watching us from the corridor.

"I'm not looking at you because you lied to my face and attacked Doggett when I told you not to" she screams.

"I'm sorry ok" I scream back her; everyone is now watching us even Pornstache is listening into our argument.

"You promised me Amy, You could've gotten killed" she screams into my face.

"I promise a lot of things but some of them don't mean shit" I shout back instantly regretting it, before I can apologise I feel a sharp pain sting through my left cheek. Nicky had slapped me on the face, I look up at her and I can see regret shining through her eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean what I said and I am sorry for lying to you when I love you" I say in a lower tone making sure no one else can hear our conversation, I walk forwards and when I can tell that Nicky won't push me away I wrap my arms around her body and draw her close to my body, Nicky reply's by laying her head on my chest. "I'm so sorry Nicky" I say into her ear, she looks up and presses a kiss to my lips.

"So you love me do you?" she asks with her signature smirk, I start to blush when I realise that I said that. She leans forwards and presses her mouth to my ear. "For the record I love you too" she whispers into my ear, I look up at her with my goofy grin painted on my face and I press a kiss to the side of her head.

"Are we ok?" I ask apprehensively, she looks back up at me and smiles.

"Only if you don't lie to me again, I don't trust easily" She tells me, I nod and I hug her close to me.

"I promise, I'm so sorry" I say, she nods into my chest and she pulls away. We separate and we walk to my bunk, we get under the small blanket and we fall asleep with a smile on our faces.

**Two days later..**

"Hartman I need your help" Alex says, as we try to fix the tumble dryer in the dryer room. I look to her and I stop what I am doing showing her that I am listening.

"Sure what's up?" I ask as we sit down on the bench with our lunch, she opens the bottle of water and drinks a bit before she passes it over to me.

"Piper doesn't believe me when I tell her that she is the only girl for me, so I want to propose to her" she says with a nervous look on her face, I can't stop myself from smiling when she says this.

"Ok what do you need me to do?" I ask, she looks up at me and hands me some pieces of metal.

"I saw the photo of Sarah with a metal figurine you made her, I was wondering if you can make a ring for Pipes" she asks, I take the small scraps of metal from her hand and I send her smile.

"I don't have the same tools but I'll try my best" I tell her, her face breaks out in a smile and thanks me. We eat our lunch talking about the proposal and Nicky and for the first time in a while everything is going well, let's just enjoy it while it lasts.

* * *

**There it is Amy and Nicky are back on good terms and Vauseman are getting married :) I am thinking of bringing in Amy's mum and showing the struggles of her and Amy's mother daughter relationship, tell me what you think.**


	16. Chapter 14

**2 days later...**

I sit down at the table in the electric shop and I carefully do the finishing touches to Piper's ring, it is a small single band of silver metal with Alex and Piper's names engraved into it. I hear the door open and shut and I quickly hide the ring in case it is Piper, I turn around and I see Nicky walking in. I smile and I pull the ring back up onto the table.

"It's only you, I thought it was Chapman" I tell her as she walks up to me.

"I'll try not to take it personally" she says in her sarcastic tone, I roll my eyes at her and I hand her the ring.

"Alex is going to propose to Piper and she wanted me to make the ring" I say as she looks at the delicate ring, she inspects the ring and a small smile breaks out on her face.

"This is amazing Amy I didn't know you could do this" She says as she hands me the ring back, I shrug my shoulders and I stand up and kisses her.

"Yeah I used to make little figurines for Sarah" I tell her, she nods and kisses me back. She pulls back from me and hands me a letter, I look at her confused since Sarah has died and my grandmother has moved to Florida I haven't had any mail.

"Bennett gave it to me since you were not at mail call today" I take the letter from her and I slowly read it, once I finish reading it I drop it on the floor and I just stare at it.

"It's from my mum she wants to see me" I tell her, Nicky looks at me confused she doesn't know what my mum used to do to me.

"That's great what's so bad about that" she asks me, I shake my head and I sit down at the table Nicky comes over and plonks herself next to me.

"All throughout my life her and my dad used to abuse me, I took the abuse so Sarah didn't get hurt." I say into the room, I look over at Nicky and I can see the anger in her eyes.

"What are you going to do?" Nicky asks me, I turn and look into her eyes.

"I'm going to see what she wants" I say to her, Nicky nods her head. We stand up and I walk to Alex's bunk, I walk in when I see her with no Piper. She looks up at me when I enter and I pass her the ring, a huge smile breaks out onto her face as she turns to look at me.

"It's beautiful, thank you Amy" She tells me, she puts the ring down onto her desk and she stands up and walks to me. She hugs me and I hug her back.

"No problem" I say as we break up, I send her one last smile as I walk out of the bunk and I walk down to mine. I smile when I see Nicky curled up on her bed reading one of my books, I move into the bunk and I sit down on my bed since Pornstache is on duty and doesn't allow us to cuddle.

"How can you read this book Amy, its weird" she says as she throws the book towards me, I chuckle and I catch the book.

"The shining is a classic, right up there with Clockwork Orange" I tell her, I throw her Clockwork orange and I smirk when she attempts to read the first few pages.

"What the fuck this has a different language in it" I laugh when she moodily throws it back at me, I pick it up and I place it onto my desk.

"I know it has a dictionary in the back of the book with all of the words" I say, she shakes her head and smirks at me.

"Why can't you read normal books like sisterhood of the travilngpants or whatever the fuck it's called" I shake my head at her and I send her a smirk.

"Because normal books are boring books" I tell her, she looks up at me and smiles.

"You've got many different corners to you don't you?" she asks me, I look up at her and smirk.

"Oh you have no idea"


	17. Chapter 15

**TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE AND ABUSE DON'T READ IF YOU MIGHT GET TRIGGERS**

**_flashback_**

_10 year old Amy hears footsteps outside her room, she shrinks into herself when her mother stumbles in. Amy clutches the teddy bear in her arms when her mother stumbles towards her, when her mum leans in to Amy's personal space she can smell the alcohol emit from her mothers body, she knows that whatever is going to happen will not be good. Her mum grabs Amy's arm roughly which causes Amy to scream out in pain._

_"Shut it you little brat" her mum spits out, she throws Amy face down onto the bed and strips off her bottoms so her bare behind is exposed. "You deserve this" and once she says this Amy feels sharp pain curse through her behind, her mother hammering heavy blows to her behind with a wooden hairbrush. Amy's mother doesn't stop until Amy's skin is red raw, Amy sobs silently knowing that making a noise will only make her mother more aggressive. Amy is then rolled over onto her back and her mother roughly pushes her legs apart._

_"Mommy please" Amy pleads once she realises what her mother is going to do, she feels a sharp pain on her cheek where her mother hits her._

_"Shut it or I will march right into Sarah's room and do it to her" that is what makes Amy to stop talking, this is what makes Amy lay there as her mother rapes her. If only she knew that this was going to be the start of years of abuse._

**Saturday**

I lay wide awake staring at the celling, I haven't slept all night knowing that today I will talk to my mother. I roll over and look at Nicky, I smile when I see Nicky is fast asleep with a bit of drool on her chin. Yes Nicky Nichols is a drooler. I haven't told anyone about the sexual abuse I got because truth be told I am ashamed of it, I am ashamed that my first time was with my mum and horrible when I was 10. I still stay awake at night wondering why my parents did this, something must have caused them to act this way to me. I really only got sexually abused by my mother because my dad was always to drunk to make it up the stairs most nights, I turn around to my wall and I smile when I see the drawings that Sarah made me. I always battled depression thanks to the abuse and the only reason why I never committed suicide was Sarah, I knew that I had to be strong for her and in the end that was what made me wake up every morning. I get out of my bed and I quietly walk to the shower block, I go into a shower and I bathe under the lukewarm water. I get dressed back into my Khaki uniform and I make my way to the canteen for breakfast, I line up and I see Red give me a calming look when I get to the end of the line, Red took me in as part of her family which also consists of Nicky, Chapman and Vause. Red has been more of a mother to me than my own has been and that is what I will tell my mother later on today, I take my food and as I walk past Red steps in front of me.

"I hear your mother is seeing you today?" she asks me in her thick Russian accent, i nod and she places a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Show her the amazing person she has missed out on knowing" she tells me, I smile and I walk over to the table where Nicky, Alex, Piper, Lorna and big boo are sat. I sit down next to Piper and she turns to me.

"What time were you up Nicky said that you weren't in your bed when she got up" she says, I look at across at Nicky, who is having an animated discussion with Alex, she catches my eye and sends me a wink which I reply back with a smile. I turn back to look at Piper.

"Early I wanted to get ready for today with my mum" she nods understandably and turns back to her food, after a few minutes she turns back around and has a huge grin on her face.

"I wanted to say thanks for the ring it's beautiful Alex gave it to me today" she tells me, I smile when I see Alex grip Piper's hand and kiss her knuckles. We spend the rest of breakfast talking about the engagement and also what the difference is between semi and semi skinned milk. Yep that is really what we talk about in here. I make my way to the visitor area and I brace myself for myself what is about to happen, I walk into the packed room and sat in the middle of the room is no one other than my mother. I walk up to the table and I sit down not even giving her a hug witch she stood up for, she sits down and sends me a small smile. I don't smile instead I send her a disgusted look.

"How are you doing in here?" she asks me, I look at her and tell her about my new family.

"I'm doing good I have a great group of friends and the cook is more of a mother to me than you ever have been" I say, I can see her wince and looks at me with sorrow.

"That's good to hear" she tells me, I look at her and I finally ask her the question I have been wondering since I got her letter.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, she looks at me and grabs a hold of my hand. I quickly pull my hand away witch causes her to frown.

"I came to tell you how sorry I am for what I have done to you" she says, I look at her and I can tell that she means it. "When Sarah died I knew how bad I was to you and the things I did to you make me sick to my stomach. I left your dad and I really want to try to start fresh, I really want to know my eldest child" I look at her and I can see tears swimming around in her eyes, I finally ask her the question I have wanted to know ever since I was 10 years old.

"Why did you do those things to me? Why did you rape me?" I asked, my voice breaking when I say the R word. She looks at me and takes a hold of my hand and this time I don't pull away.

"I'm so sorry Amy I was drinking and on drugs and I was so angry at myself because I knew I couldn't be a mum to Sarah, I took everything out on you and I did the worst things and I am truly sorry Amy I really am" she said, she started to cry a bit so I gave her one of my tissues I have in my pocket at all times.

"I don't know mum I mean I hate you I really hate you but I also love you because your my mum, just give me some time to think ok I really need to process all of this" I tell her, she nods and I can feel a tear fall from my eye when she shows me a bracelet on her arm. When I was 11 I made her a bracelet in school and she told me that it was crap.

"I always kept this Amy, I always kept it" she tells me, the CO tells us its time to leave and I stand up and walk out of the room. I walk into my bunk and I let all of my emotions out and sob, I now know why she did those things to me.

* * *

**There it is, what do you think Amy should do.**

** Turn down her mother**

**or say yes and try to have a relationship with her.**

**thanks for the reads and reviews it means a lot :)**


	18. Chapter 16

**2 days later...**

It has been 2 days since I saw my mother and it has been messing with my mind, I finally have an answer as to why she did those things to me but it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. She wants to have a relationship with me but I just can't, I can't look at her without getting nasty flashbacks to those horrible nights. I walk up to Bennett and tell him to tell her on Saturday that I will not be seeing her because I can't re-start with her, Bennett looks confused but nods anyway I like Bennett apart from Fischer he is the nicest guard working here although I think that is because he has something going on with Diaz. I walk into my cube and I see Alex and Piper sat down on my bed talking to Nicky and Lorna, I like Lorna she was the first person to be nice to me. I sit down on the floor leaning against my bed being careful not to lean on Alex and Piper's legs, I look up and I smile at Nicky she smiles back at me and continues to talk to Lorna. I look around the cube and I now see Red and Big Boo standing to the side talking and smiling, I lean my head back and I let the calmness of the people around me wash over me I love every single person in this cube with everything inside me they are my family. I close my eyes as Piper talks about her and Alex's future wedding, I must've fell into a deep sleep because before I know it I am being shaken awake my Nicky.

"Wakey Wakey, Hartman time for count" I get up and I stand outside the cube with Nicky and I see Bennett walk and click his little clicker, my mind starts to wonder and as I look around I see a new inmate being given her before I can get a good look of her I am being dragged down to the cafeteria by Nicky. I line up and get my food and I sit down at our normal table where the rest of the family are sat, I start to eat the weird mashed potato as I listen to the dinner conversation.

"Hey look we got a new one" Big boo says, we all turn in our seats to look at the new girl and I freeze when I see who it is. Its Lucy Parker otherwise known as my bully from school, she hated me and always thought of ways to get me into as much trouble as she could. Lucy looks up and catches my eye and sends me a smirk, I quickly turn around in my seat and I can feel all colours leave my face. Lorna must've noticed because she makes asks me if I'm ok.

"That's Lucy Parker we went to school, she made my life fucking terrible always getting me in trouble" I say, once I say this Red stands from her seat and goes to the kitchen probably sorting out a nasty meal for Lucy. I just got rid of Doggett, now I have a whole new problem to deal with. Fuck.

* * *

**Poor Amy another problem to deal with. This was just a little filler. I haven't uploaded in a while sorry I was just really busy, thank you for all of the follows and keep up the reviews you guys help me come up with ideas for this story. THANK YOU!**


	19. Chapter 17

I watch as Lucy walks past me and sits down in the seat Red previously occupied, everybody stops talking and stares at Lucy as she just sits down without an invitation. She looks up at me and smiles a sickly smile, i feel a hand slip into my left hand and I squeeze Nicky's hand for comfort.

"I heard about your sister, it's sad" she says in a bored tone, i can feel anger course through my body as she talks. "Did you here what your mom confessed" she says, I look at her confused.

"No what did she confess?" I ask, since my meeting with mom I haven't heard anything from her.

"She told the paper about what she did to you as a kid" She says with a smirk, all the colour leaves my face as I hear this. Everybody will now know my worst nightmare.

"Everyone already knew about the abuse" Nicky says, I see Lucy send me a smirk and looks at everybody on the table before locking eyes with mine.

"Not that i mean't the sexual abuse" She announces, the table goes deathly silent as everybody looks at me.

"What?" Alex asks, everybody looks shocked and Nicky looks sick. I shake my head as I can't say anything, the one thing I didn't want anyone to know was out in the open.

"Oh yeah her mum has been rapeing her since she was 10 it's all on the news" Lucy tells Alex, I can't take it anymore so I just stand up and I run out of the canteen ignoring the shouts from Nicky. I walk into my cube and I sit down on the floor by my bed with my knees pulled up to my head, I can hear footsteps and I can hear someone sit down by the side of me.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Nicky asks quitely, I remove my head from between my legs and I face Nicky.

"I didn't say anything beacuse I am ashamed" I whisper out, I can feel tears buiding up in my eyes.

"Why were you ashamed?" Nicky asks as she takes my hand in hers.

"Beacuse my parents didn't love me, all I got was hits and rape" I say as tears start to run down my face, Nicky drops my hands and wraps me up in her arms.

"None of this is down to you, it's all on them ok" She says into my ear, I nod as I cry into her embrace. I spend the rest of the day with Nicky in our cube reading or just talking, eventhough I didn't want anyone to know about my past it does feel better to not have anything to hide anymore.


End file.
